Fear

This poem is heavily inspired by a song I know. But it's exactly how I feel.

Fear by Stephanie A. Brown

I'm scared to try cause I'm scared to fail
I'm scared to die guess I'm scared of hell
I'm scared to kiss cause I’m scared to hug
I'm scared of sex guess I'm scared to touch

I'm scared to look cause I'm scared to see
I'm scared of you guess I'm scared of me
I'm scared to fly cause I'm scared I’ll crash
I'm scared to move on guess I live in the past

I'm scared to fight cause I'm scared I’ll bleed
I'm scared of love guess I'm scared he'll leave
I'm scared to swim cause I'm scared to sink
I'm scared of drugs guess I'm scared to drink

I'm scared to learn cause I'm scared of truth
I’m scared to gain weight guess I'm scared of food
I'm scared to write cause I’m scared it’s good
I'm scared I’ll fail cause I know I could

I'm scared to start cause I'm scared I'll quit
I'm scared the people won't like my shyt
I'm scared of the fame and the paparazzi
The rumors starting and the people watching

Fear, the tormenting spirit keeps me
From fulfilling my God-given destiny
Unless I stand firm, break its hold
Stories God gave me will never be told


Inspired by Jazmine Sullivan’s Fear

Deo Volente,


Step Brown

"Empire State of Mind"

                                                I never really paid much attention to this song. But today, as I was thinking of my SMART goal and "My Bucket List With a Twist", this tune popped in my head and has been there all day. New York will be my next big city adventure. That is a promise to me. New York-where dreams come true. Where the streets make you feel brand new and the lights will inspire you. Let's hear it for New York...

My First SMART Goal

Today, I had a complimentary life coaching session with a real-live life coach. While at this point, I don't think I want to invest any money with a life coach, I do realize what the root of my problem is. I'm LAZY! Plain and simple. I need some discipline in my life. And I am making subtle changes.
While on the call, I made a SMART goal. A (S)pecific, (M)easurable, (A)ttainable, (R)ealistic, and (T)angible goal. It involves my writing.

Specific-to write everyday (except Sunday)
Measurable-write at 6am for one hour
Attainable-I am working on my next book.
Realistic-Writing is my passion.
Tangible-I will have the finished chapters in my hand.

So there you have it. I begin in the morning at six. Happy Writing...


Deo Volente,
Step Brown

My "Bucket List With a Twist"

I know most people have a bucket list--a list of things they want to do before "they kick the bucket." Well, I want to do something different. I'm calling it my "bucket list with a twist" simply because it goes along with the semantics. The biggest difference is that I want to be a time limit on my list. I know people say before they die but no one really knows when that is.
I am putting my list in on a time limit. Since this is my thirty-fifth year, I am giving myself five years to get five things done. Here goes:

1. travel to Africa
2. travel to Europe
3. have a net worth of a million dollars
4. written and produced at least one movie
5. have at least three different streams of income

Well, there you have it. My bucket list with a twist. I got until December 31, 2015 to fulfill it. Wish me luck...


Deo Volente,
Step Brown