Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The Devil Made Me Do It

Flip Wilson got a lot of laughs dressing up as Geraldine, snapping his fingers, and proclaiming, "The devil made me do it and I won't fight the feeling." 

One of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was convincing us he doesn't exist. Sadly, he does exist and he knows you better than you want him to. He knows your future better than you do. He's your enemy. Just like any competitor, he scouts his opponent and finds ways to exploit weaknesses. He's a crafty so-and-so.

Taking responsibility for one's action is one of the most mature things anyone can do. Every day, you make a conscious choice to do that something wrong. Nothing and no one makes you. It's all on you and your selfish, sinful nature.

Although some people do not give Satan enough credit, most people give him too much. The devil NEVER makes you do it. He may give you every reason and lie why you should. And that's the feeling you should fight. It's easier than you think because you definitely have help. Just look to the hills...(Psalm 121)


Sunday, December 29, 2013

Unique ME

Day 25--What make me unique?

Simply put, God makes me unique. Because of Him, I am one-of-a-kind. No one can do what I can do when I do what I do. 

Because of God...

Judge me not

Day 24---What would you do differently if no one would judge you?

I'm not sure if I'd do anything differently. I have finally grown to the point of not caring what others think. At least, I feel I have.

I do have things I wish I could do differently but not because I feared judgement. I would change them because I know better now than I did then. 

Active Fears

Day 23--What fear drives your actions?

I sit here and ask myself, what do I fear? What keeps me from forging forward with my dreams?

To hear of getting it wrong, the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of pride, the fear of fear----something keeps me from writing. 

I must write. Somehow, I just know my 'suddenly' is in my writing.

Lose to Win

Day 22--If you haven't achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

As a single woman, I figure I should be able to pursue my dreams without hurting anyone. To create a film and tour the circuit with it would definitely be a start. All of that takes money--money I do not have access to. In my opinion, that's why I haven't achieved it.

To throw caution to the wind would be quitting my job, losing my house and car, literally going into financial ruin. I could lose the lifestyle to which I've grown accustom. But I think it'll be worth it. Just need the perfect project...

Walking into Darkness

Day 21--When was the last time you walked into the darkness with only a glimpse of the idea you so strongly believe in?

In February 2010, I drove to Florida State University for an interview. I had applied to their MFA program in Film. I spent the weekend looking at apartments and exploring the town. When I got back, I put my house on the market. I just knew I would be in Florida by August. I resigned my teaching/coaching career at Biloxi High School. By the end of March, I was all set to move to Florida. By the second week in April, I had received my rejection letter, taken my house off of the market, and started sending out applications in Atlanta.

That was the last time I stepped out on blind faith. Not sue when I can do that again.

If Tonight is the Last...

Day 20---If everybody dies tomorrow, who is the one person you visit today?

I stopped at this post days ago and now that I post about it, I still do not know my answer. I only get to visit one person. Does that mean I love too many people?

After much consideration, I have decided to visit with God. I would call or text all of the people I could. Then I would go off to a quiet location, take my Bible, and spend as much quiet time in communion with God.

Hopefully, those who matter to me will meet me on the other side.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Mistakes as Lessons

Day 19---If you learn from mistakes, what are you afraid of making them?

Pride comes to mind whenever I think of mistakes. Most people do not want to appear weak and inept. People hate to be wrong but being wrong is a part of getting it right. Pride makes you feel like that, like you should have known better. But how can you know better when you really don't. That's my first reason.

Failure. First, failure has a negative connotation when it's really just a proof positive of how not to do something. People equate mistakes with failures. A mistake is going into something with your eyes wide shut while a failure is going with your eyes wide open.

As I grow with God, I am being less and less afraid of making mistakes. Knowing that God's provision covers all, the good and the bad, helps me tread slowly and lightly. Even if it takes me weeks, months, or years to take a step, I trust I will eventually take it. He's growing me from glory to glory.

Loving What?

Day 18---What do you love and what actions express that love?

Believe it or not, I love TO CREATE!!!! I observe people and things and at times, create my own story. Even if it's just a paragraph, I create a life or situation. I hardly write down the things I create but I am constantly doing it.

Of course, to express that love, I guess I should write things down more. Now, with the advent of iPhones and iPads, pen and paper are readily available and excuses are distractions. 

Time to do what I do best...CREATE!

Alive vs. Living

Day 17---What's the difference between being alive and living?

In my opinion, being alive is the very state of drawing breath. That is you have to use the passive verb, to be, as you describe the state of. It's an English lesson, I guess. It's a state of being; it's God allowing you to draw your next breath.

To live is the action verb. That means you can do it. Living is the progressive form which says living is ongoing and continual. It's building relationship with God, yourself and others. It's fulfilling purpose. 

Being alive is God's gift to you, but living, that's your gift to God. 

In My Past

Day 16---Something that upsets me from my past and why it matters today.

Well, in the summer in 1992, my family and I make a seemly temporary decision regarding my life. Now, 21 years later, that decision comes across as something more permanent than temporary. At the time, it was the best decision when considering the circumstances. So I live with it everyday. I can honestly say, not a day goes by that I do not wonder what if.

In the grand scheme of things, the '92 decision matters not because I cannot undo it. And that's that.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Passionate and Alive...

Day 15---When do you feel most passionate and alive?

This is the easiest so far. When I am performing and creating, I feel something I cannot explain. Seeing my words in a book or hearing my words performed by others is unlike anything else.

Nothing left to say....

Old versus New

Day 14---Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never make any new ones?

I'd rather lose the old memories. Once you do whatever you did to create the old memory,  you cannot do it again. You cannot revisit it except in your mind. At least you experienced it. The past can do nothing for you. Nothing new is back there anyway.

I'd rather make new memories. That means you are doing new things and still living life. You can forge forward and create memories. Yeah, you might forget them tomorrow but who cares. It's your new day and that gives you plenty of time to make new ones.

ISFJ, am I?

My really close friends get my blog via email. I wonder if they will agree with my results from a personality test.

According to Myers-Briggs, ISFJs are interested in maintaining order and harmony in every aspect of their lives. They are steadfast and meticulous in handling their responsibilities. Although quiet, they are people-oriented and very observant. Not only do they remember details about others, but they observe and respect others’ feelings. Friends and family are likely to describe them as thoughtful and trustworthy.

According to Keirsey, ISFJs, or "Protector Guardians", are most concerned with taking care of people by keeping them safe and secure. They are modest caretakers who do not demand credit or thanks for their efforts. But while they are essentially compassionate—and in fact exercise more patience in dealing with people with disabilities than perhaps any other type—their shyness with strangers can lead others to misread them as standoffish. Only among friends and family may this quiet type feel comfortable speaking freely. ISFJs are serious people with a strong work ethic, not inclined to self-indulgence. They believe in being meticulous and thrifty. They work well alone. While they may enjoy taking care of others, they do not enjoy giving orders.

So what do you think chickas????

Friday, December 13, 2013

What Makes Me, ME?

Day 13---What makes me, ME?

My earliest memory is riding a tractor with my step-father. I was about five. My biggest concern was if I was going to have chocolate chip or oatmeal cookies for snack.  I knew my Mama Gold was baking something before I left...to work out in the fields.

At the very core, I understand that life experiences make me who I am today. That includes my DNA, things that are innate, things that are learned. At 38, I respectfully call it my Potter's wheel experiences.

I proud myself on my handwriting because of my first grade teacher, Mrs. Phillips. I enjoyed learning my multiplication facts with Mrs. Greene. I appreciate my history because of Mrs. Knox and fell in love with grammar with Mrs. Harper. I played my childhood games with Coach Banks and took reading seriously with Anna Leach. Adlean Davis, Annie Ruth Covington, even Doris Fouche made differences. I learned that if I was going to participate, I needed to take the precautions, thanks to Mrs. Whitehead. Vernita Woodfork introduced me to the college experience and Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. I dealt with literature with Mrs. Lewis and Betty Ball Bowman. Mrs. Collins showed me I could write and should embrace my imagination. I endured geometry and algebra with John Teague and Jennifer Wilson.  Mr. Stanton had my calculus for me and Mr. Jackson got my chemistry going. How could I forget to 'hit em with a brick' from Gean Gilbert in AP US History and Coach Maddox who made sure I knew the fall of the Roman Empire. It was 476 A.D. by the way. I could list so many more teachers who have left a definite imprint on my life, good and bad. They all a part of who I am.

Church mothers, choir directors, neighbors---all make me who I am today. The perpetrators and the nurturers all make me who I am today. The car accidents, the love interests, the breakdown all make me who I am. My Potter's wheel experience makes me who I am today. 

Would I change any of it? In my finite wisdom, heck yeah!! But that is not my choice to make. I leave that in God's Hands. I am whatever He says I am. I'm the clay He molds. I'm the masterpiece He creates. I am His work in progress. 

I am me because He is Him.  

Insanity becomes Creativity

Day 12---In the face of insanity, can creativity be born?

When I consider the definition of insanity, I find my answer to this question.  Let's break it down, shall we?

The prefix -in means the opposite of. Sanity is defined as the ability to think and behave in a normal and rational manner; sound mental health. Therefore, insanity is the opposite of thinking and behaving in a normal and rational manner.

Since what's sane is relative, what I do to create is based on my logic of relativity. In other words, what's insane to me may not be insane to you. That does not make it any less sane. It's just the way I do what I do. 

I am fully aware that we are governed by laws and some things you just don't do. But doing things differently do not constitute doing things insanely. Different is different; doesn't make it insane. Just makes it different. Creativity is an art form and how you do it is how you do it. 

I say as long as you can keep it legal and moral, go as insane as you need to. Create on with yo creative self... 

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Right Thing vs. Things Right

Day 11---Doing the right thing OR Doing things right... What's more important?

I am not sure I can separate these two things. To me, it's the same thing. If you are doing the right thing, aren't you doing things right? And vice versa...

As I try to think of an instance where these two things are not on the same side of the bed, I re-post.  

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Just Do It...

Day 10---Have I said more than I've done?

I am sad to report that I have said more than I've done. That fact disappoints me. I seek to rectify the matter by just doing.

Nike says it best: Yesterday, you said tomorrow. 

We know what the Bible says, "Faith, without works, is dead."

Time to just do it...

SA the Teacher

Day 9----What do I want to teach or represent in this world?

This prompt took a lot of thought for me. I was not sure I truly understand its purpose. And suddenly, it dawned on me. That is what I want to represent or teach: PURPOSE.

Everyone has a purpose for being on this earth. If you still have breath to draw, you have purpose. God wastes nothing. 

I would like to represent purpose by first, living out my purpose. After some time, I have come to realize that God has a clear and divine purpose for my being here. I will say that I struggle with defining that purpose but that is because I am trying to do it in my own strength. Daily, I learn to surrender and God guides me along as I go.

At times, I think about becoming life coach. I really want people to live in their purpose, starting with myself. Yet, I have to remember that God has me right where He wants me. Purpose being fulfilled...

Sunday, December 8, 2013


Day 8--The most important spice of life

I know it's a cliche but I truly believe that variety is the spice of life. I just feel you should try many different experiences because trying new things keeps life interesting. 

Change is inevitable. Once you learn and understand that, you tend to not mind the things that happen. After all, that's what life does...it happens.

The Critic

Day 7--Who is my biggest critic, other than myself, and why?

Let me just say, I am indeed my biggest critic. I do not think there is anyone else harder on me than I am. I can be quite ruthless, but I cannot pick myself. 

At different times, I feel those closest to me will become the critic I need when I need it. I think it is criticism heavily laced with encouragement. I cannot give the 'critic' title to one person because any one of my friends will step up and say, 'Hey, Step, you really need to get going.' It's more like a gentle kick than a critical punch.

Those who know me well feel I have a lot to offer and am loaded down with potential. I do not think any of them want me to waste it. That fact, alone, makes them all by biggest critic---after I get done with me. 

What I Do...

Day 6--Evaluate my 'unconditional' giving trait.

Friends and I were discussing what is the thing that we do, the unconditional thing we do for people no matter how they treat us. My initial response was that I cater to people. I observe what makes them happy and then try to do those things. Those two think I was off base. 

Well, maybe the word 'cater' is not the correct word. I've given it much consideration. I notice people have a tendency to tell me things and find it easy to talk to me. I think people feel they can tell me anything, that I really empathize with what they have to say.

Listening is my unconditional giving trait. I'm the shoulder people cry on, the choir people preach to, the vent people release to, the board they bounce idea off of. 

So what's on your mind? Go ahead; I'll wait... 


Growing Up

Day 5--In what area can I mature?

This is a tough one. Not because I do not have any areas but because I cannot pick which is the most important.

My relationship with God is the area I can and want to mature in the most. I believe as that relationship improves so will all of the other areas in my life. 

I pray God will continue to guide and cover me and I pray I stay open and available to God.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Lack of Preparation

Day 4--What are you least prepared for?

Financial prosperity...

I have poor money management skills. Nothing BUT GOD keeps me in check. I am working to improve this matter but as they say, Rome was not built in a day. 

Work in progress...


Day 3--List and evaluate your distractions

I believe I can sum up my distractions in one word: FEAR.  

I could do the laundry list thing. But why? I know the heart of the matter is fear. Afraid of failing, afraid of succeeding, afraid of being noticed, afraid of being accountable. And these fears manifest themselves into doubt and procrastination. Then I avoid those things with social media, television, Xbox games, busy work, my job...

Fortunately, I am a work in progress and I have a Potter who won't quit.

Two Words

Day 2--Two words I would say to my younger self

Dear Younger SA,

Stay prayerful...

You give your life to God and suddenly, hell's gates open. Your life changes forever but trouble doesn't last forever. You go through a lot but you are NEVER alone. It will take you many years to understand that but you are not alone--even at your lowest point.

So stay prayerful, girlfriend, it gets better. Not necessarily in your circumstances but in your growth process... It's all a part of your process, your go-through. You'll be happy; you'll be sad. You'll hurt, you'll lose, you'll gain, you'll achieve. You'll fall but you'll get back up.

Keep the faith, Sista. God's got a great plan for you--something only you can do for His Kingdom.

Stay prayerful...

What's in a name?

A friend has charged me with a 30 day journal challenge. As usual, I am a bit behind but today is catch up day. So here goes...

Day 1--Name your journal

My journal's name is BUT GOD because I can honestly say I do not know how I have gotten this far. My only answer is BUT GOD....

I have this vision and from where I am sitting, I do not see how it will come to pass. But God does. So I will keep trusting Him and seeking Him. And just like that, problem solved.

But God...