In retrospect...

So I've finally caught up with the yearly challenge. I'm on the sixth week and it is December 11. This prompt stuck an emotional chord with me. I am going to be really transparent with this post. So here goes...

Week 6: Start your story with, "In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea." And end it with, "And that's how I attempted to make this world a better place."

In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea. At the time, it seemed like the only answer. I was in so much pain---physically, mentally, emotionally. I saw no other way out. I simply wanted my pain to end. With everything I had gone through, I figured this would make it all better. So I walked from my apartment, at the time, to a hotel. I rented a room and locked myself in the room. I even barricaded the door. I really did not want to be bothered. After saying a few prayers and asking God for His forgiveness, I swallowed more pills than I ever should in one sitting and drank more alcohol than I ever should in one sitting. I don't remember anything after that. I only know what I've been told. The one thing I do remember is how much I wanted my pain to stop. It wasn't the best idea but it was the one I had at that time. And that's how I attempted to make this world (my world) a better place.

Step Brown