Sunday, December 11, 2011

In retrospect...

So I've finally caught up with the yearly challenge. I'm on the sixth week and it is December 11. This prompt stuck an emotional chord with me. I am going to be really transparent with this post. So here goes...

Week 6: Start your story with, "In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea." And end it with, "And that's how I attempted to make this world a better place."

In retrospect, I wouldn't say it was my best idea. At the time, it seemed like the only answer. I was in so much pain---physically, mentally, emotionally. I saw no other way out. I simply wanted my pain to end. With everything I had gone through, I figured this would make it all better. So I walked from my apartment, at the time, to a hotel. I rented a room and locked myself in the room. I even barricaded the door. I really did not want to be bothered. After saying a few prayers and asking God for His forgiveness, I swallowed more pills than I ever should in one sitting and drank more alcohol than I ever should in one sitting. I don't remember anything after that. I only know what I've been told. The one thing I do remember is how much I wanted my pain to stop. It wasn't the best idea but it was the one I had at that time. And that's how I attempted to make this world (my world) a better place.

Step Brown

  

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